Doctor and nurse jokes

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"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

Rating: 2.6 |

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

Rating: 3.0 |

Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?

Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

Rating: 3.0 |

A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.

Rating: 2.4 |

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

Rating: 3.0 |

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